Zeppo unMASKed
by SeraphBlade
Summary: Xander Harris is feeling unappreciated in the Scoobies. Maybe a mystical mask could help him out?
1. Chapter 1

**Zeppo unMASKed**

**By: SeraphimSword**

**Summary: Xander's feeling pushed out by the Scooby Gang, and a mystical mask might be what he needs to prove himself. Takes place S3 – The Zeppo**

**I own nothing**

**Chapter 1: Putting on the Mask**

**A Cave**

Xander flew through the air to land in a pile of garbage. He looked up to see his attacker, a red-eyed, bluish-gray skinned demon. It had sharp teeth, but no fangs, and a series of horns that started just above its eyes and continued up onto its high, thick forehead.

He watched as the rest of the Scoobies easily dispatched of them. Angrily, he got back up only to have the demon toss him back into the garbage.

He watched from his fallen position as Faith, the new Slayer, sliced his attacker with her sword. She spared him a small glance, before turning to rejoin the fight.

As he once again attempted to join the fight, something caught his eye. He looked closer and saw a body, laying in the darkness, struggling silently. Xander crawled over to the person, intent on saving the man or woman who had been down here for who knows how long.

He reached the body and gently shook it. "Hey…are you okay?""

The body fell to pieces revealing it to be garbage, and Xander stifled a scream as a huge black rat ran over his hand as it abandoned its nest. Xander shook his head as he wiped his hands of the filth.

'Dammit, I can't do anything right.' Xander cursed as he turned o rejoin the fight. He stopped as he noticed the head of the "body", an old wooden mask, with a greenish tint.

Xander picked it up for a closer expection, and found strange ritualistic symbols carved into a puckish face with a leering grin and eerie empty eye holes. Xander turned the mask around inspecting it closer, and found he was unconsciously bringing it closer and closer to his face. The inside of the mask shimmered slightly and Xander cold swear a small voice was whispering for him to put it on.

Before the mask could touch his face, a voice called out, "Xander?"

He jumped from his position from the pile of junk and held up to thumbs up. "I'm good. We're fine. Just a little bit dirty. Good show, everyone." Xander staggered slightly, feeling the bruise on his side beginning to form. "Just great, I think we have a hit."

Willow looked at him, concern evident in her eyes, "Are you okay?"

"Tip-top, really" Xander said, and then held up the wooden mask. "Just, uh…looking for my mask."

"Xander, one of these days…" Buffy began, a worried expression on her face, before it changed to a confused expression. "You brought a mask on patrol?"

"Uh, yeah."

Buffy sighed out loud. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard Xander." Behind her the other Scoobies nodded along with the blonde Slayer. "I saw you get thrown around tonight and, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. M-maybe you should be...fray-adjacent."

"Excuse me?" Xander said, slightly miffed. "Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?"

"Yeah," Faith snickered. "That was real manly how you shrieked and all."

"I think you'll find that was more of a bellow." Xander replied haughtily, trying not to stare at the beautiful brunette.

Buffy looked at the two before deciding to change the subject. Turning to Giles she asked, "Uh, what do we do with the trio here? Should we burn them?"

"I brought marshmallows." Willow said with a smile. Everyone turned to her, surprise and confusion on their faces. "Occasionally, I'm callous and strange."

Giles wiped his glasses as he tries to get back to the subject at hand. "I expect we can leave them. I'm more interested in finding out what they are, and whether we can expect more of their kind."

"I hope not." Buffy called out as she left the cave, Faith right behind her. "They're way too fit."

"I say bring 'em on!" Xander called out to the Slayers. He watched as Willow calmly followed the Slayers, not even looking back at her best friend.

Giles stepped up to Xander putting his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Uh, Xander, I think in the future perhaps it would be best if you, you, uh, h-hung back to the rear of the battle, you know, for your own sake."

"But, gee, Mr. White, if Clark and Lois get all the good stories, I'll never be a good reporter." Xander facetiously replied.

"Hmm?" Giles asked slightly confused.

"Jimmy Olsen joke, sir. Pretty much gonna be lost on you, huh?" Xander explained.

"Sorry." Giles said, continuing to walk out of the cave. He stopped and turned back to the heart of the group. "Oh, and Xander. Next time leave the costumes at home.

Xander sadly watched them leave, a frown on his face. "Sure."

He looked at the mask once more before shrugging and heading home.

**Street**

Xander calmly walked down the street, mask in hand, going over the words Buffy had said. 'Fray-adjacent? Come on!'

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he failed to notice the group of men and women that had surrounded him. Looking up he noticed them staring at him, and pegged them for hoodlums.

"Alright, you guys. It's been a tough night. I haven't got any money. I haven't got a car. All I have is this and you're welcome to it." Xander said, tossing them the mask.

The leader, a tall, pale man with stringy, greasy hair caught the wooden object, still slick with the garbage it had been encased in, and tossed it back as he approached the male Scooby. "Hey, man. You got us all wrong. We don't want any trouble. I was just going to ask you for the time. That's all." The guy said, holding up his hands. "You got the time?"

"Uh… yeah." Xander said, looking down at his Mickey Mouse watch. He never saw the faces of the group change to the demonic face of vampires. When he looked up, Xander groaned. "Come on! My life can not be this bad."

The lead vampire looked confused before shrugging. "Looks that way blood bag."

With a quick jab from the vampire, Xander found himself on the ground gasping for air, the mask falling beside him. Above him the vampires laughed.

Xander crawled away, a part of him praying for Buffy or Faith to save him. The vampires laughed as they watched him crawl on the street. Xander looked down and saw the mask, laying face down.

Once again he saw the shimmering inside the mask. Before he could wonder more about it, the lead vampire slammed his boot into Xander's back, slamming him face first into the mask.

The second his face was completely in he mask, he felt it wrap around his face. He gripped it, screaming as he felt tentacles spread from the wooden mask, wrapping around his head, and locking into place.

The vampires jumped back in shock as Xander's face was wrapped in the mask and his clothes stretched out in all directions. Suddenly his entire body began spinning, faster and faster, until his body was a gyroscope.

His head throbbed and expanded, turning lime green as the mask completely covered his face. Xander's yells became almost unintelligible as his voice jumps five octaves.

The vampires backed away again as the human tornado jumped right side up and spun towards them. Suddenly, a hand shot out, grabbing a nearby streetlight. The whirlwind that had once been Xander Harris screeched to a halt, causing sparks and smoke to rise from the asphalt. As the smoke cleared, a new figure stood under the light

Dressed in a crazy purple zoot suit with a bow tie, the figure looked up at the vampires. The main thing that drew attention was his large, bright green head with black plastic looking spikes for hair. His now huge bug-eyes glowed with mischief, his nose had become small, bony and beaked,while his ears had been completely covered by the mask. He smiled at the cautious vampires, revealing a leering grin with enormous, gleaming white teeth. To the vampires, he looked like a cartoon brought to life, but not unhuman, and in a way, somewhat charming.

The new Xander looked down at himself, liking what he saw he looks back up, a huge smile on his face. "S-s-s-smokin'!" He snapped his bow tie, a crazy grin coming to his face as he looked at the vamps. "It's party time!"

He seemed to be a blur as he appeared at the leader's side, an arm slung around his shoulder, as if they had been friends since birth. "P-A-R-T, why? Because I gotta!"

The leader pushed him off looking at the one time victim, a smile on his face. "Nice trick human, now where were we?"

"I believe you were asking me for the time." Xander/Mask answered, pulling back his sleeve. "As you can see, I got all the time in the world." On his wrist were hundreds of crazily spinning watches, chiming cuckoo clocks and sun dials. "London, Paris, Rome, Pacific, Central, Eastern, and for the Brits, I got Big Ben."

"Big Ben?" the lead vampire asked looking at all the watches on Xander's arm.

The green faced friend of the Slayer, smiled deviously as he reached into a pocket and pulled out a six foot, wooden replica of Big Ben, smashing it on the leader. As the dust puffed out from under the miniature clock tower, the future carpenter looked to the other vampire's he grinned maniacally he began to spin once more. When he stopped, the newly empowered "normal" Scooby was dressed in a black mob suit and hat.

Reaching into his pockets, Xander/Mask pulled out two huge guns, each with rocket launchers, machine guns, and an assortment of other destructive mechanisms. "Say hello to my little friends."

The remaining vamps, although wary of the guns, smirked. A female stepped forward, a cocky smile on her face. "Guns don't hurt us human."

"Oh I beg to differ." Xander/Mask said as he pulled the trigger. Instead of bullets, a barrage of stakes and bottles of holy water shot out, hitting the vampires, dusting them in a mater of seconds.

Xander/Mask tossed he guns aside looking at his hands amazed. "This is incredible! With these powers, I could be a superhero! I could fight crime, protect the innocent, work for world peace!" His eyes gleamed slightly once more as he thought of something. "But first…!"

**Sunnydale High**

Principal Snyder walked out of the school, a grin on his face as he thought of the tortures he had planned for the students tomorrow. With the Mayor's plans fast approaching, he had to get his hits in where he could.

He stopped short of his car as he saw someone was standing right by it, his back to the Principal. "Who the hell are you?"

"Who me?" Xander/Mask asked as he turned to face the shorter man, once again wearing his zoot suit. "I'm just someone concerned about your future well being."

Snyder looked at the green face and began to shake in fear. "Wh-who sent y-you"

"I'm a free agent if you will, and I need something from you."

"W-What is i-it?"

Xander/Mask screamed out in mock anger, devil horns appearing on his head and cartoon flames leaping from behind him. "Your soul!"

Snyder leaped back fear spreading throughout his body, as a stain spread on his pants. Xander/Mask laughed as he looked down looked down to see the stain and smiled as he reverted back to his "normal" appearance.

"Looks like you got a leak there." He reached once more into his pocket and brought out a large monkey wrench. "Let's see if I can tighten it up a bit, hmm."

**End Chapter 1**

**Please R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**Zeppo unMASKed**

**Summary: Xander's feeling pushed out by the Scooby Gang, and a mystical mask might be what he needs to prove himself. Takes place S3 – The Zeppo**

**I own nothing**

**Chapter 2**

**Xander's Room – Next Morning**

Xander woke up in his bed, still in his clothes from the night's patrol. He groggily sat up, rubbing his face, and feeling completely hung over. As he did, memories of the night before hit him and he rushed to the mirror in his bathroom.

Satisfied that his face is not green and his clothes are normal, he walked back to his bed. His foot hit something as he moved to sit down and he spotted the mask, laying on the floor, looking back up at him. He picked it up, and flipped it around.

No shimmering.

Xander sighed, as he tossed the mask on his bed. "A dream… It was only a dream."

**Sunnydale High**

Xander got to the school, less enthusiastically than most were used to. As he entered the front doors, Xander noticed that the rest of the students seemed happier, and that there was no Snyder in sight.

He saw a flash of red and jogged up to Willow. "Hey Wills, what's the what?"

Willow turned to her long time friend, excitement in her eyes. "Oh, Xander! Did you here about Principal Snyder?

Xander felt the air leave his lungs as she said that. "Uh, no. What happened?"

"He was attacked last night in the school parking lot." Willow explained. "He had a wrench or something tightened around his…uh…" Willow turned red as she thought of where the tool had ended up.

"I got it." Xander said, stopping her from continuing, as memories of the night before came back to him. "Uh I gotta go, see you later Wills."

The red-head nodded, not noticing the weird expression on her friends face as he rushed to his first class.

**Sunnydale High - Lunch**

Xander calmly walked past Doug and Les, two of the School's football players, as they tossed a football back and forth. His mind was back to what he had though to be a dream.

Doing things that he shouldn't have been able to do, killing eight vamps, and the hurting Snyder had been a bonus. 'I wonder if I could take on Buffy and Faith?'

He thinking if he should tell the rest of the Scoobies, when he walked into Jack O'Toole, resident school psychopath and bully, spilling his chips and soda to the floor. O'Toole looked down at his spilled lunch and then at Xander.

"Boy, I am so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going." Xander apologized. "Is your lunch okay?"

"What are you, retarded?" Jack asked, clearly not amused.

"No! No, I had to take that test when I was seven. A little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged or anything." Xander said, shaking his hands in front of him. He pointed down to the spilled lunch. "Can I get you another soda?"

"I oughtta cut your face open." Jack threatened, looking at Xander as if he was nothing.

"Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa... It was an accident." Xander said, as he tried to defuse what he thought was turning out to be a bad situation. "Cool down."

"You wanna be startin' somethin'?" Jack asked, a grin spreading across his face.

"What? Starting something?" Xander asked, grinning and chuckling. "Like that Michael Jackson song, right? That was a lot of fun. 'Too high to get over, yeah, yeah...' Remember that fun song?"

Jack took a step toward him, and Xander stepped away nervously. Jack smiled as he leaned close. "I get my buddies together, we're gonna kick your ass till it's a brand-new shape." He then pushed Xander, almost dropping the twice possessed teen. "Now get outta here."

Xander wasted no time walking away…and right into Cordelia.

"Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest."

"I could've taken him." Xander defended, pointing to the retreating back of O'Toole.

"Oh, please. O'Toole would macramé' your face." Cordelia said with a mean smile on her face. "He is a psycho. Which is still a lot cooler than being a wuss."

Xander took another glance at O'Toole. "Why is it that I've come face-to-face with vampires, demons, the most hideous creatures Hell ever spit out, and I'm still afraid of a little bully like Jack O'Toole?"

"Because, unlike all those creatures that you've come face-to- face with, Jack actually noticed you were there." Cordelia replied sharply.

"Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?" Xander sighed.

"It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers -- Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires -- and you're, like, this little nothing." Cordelia cheered inside as she watched Xander look down. "You must feel like Jimmy Olsen."

"I was just talking to..." Xander laughed before becoming suddenly offensive. "Hey, mind your own business!"

"Oooh, I struck a nerve." Cordelia said. "The boy that had no cool."

"I happen to be an integral part of that group." Xander said, even beginning to doubt his own words. "I happen to have a lot to offer."

"Oh, please." Cordelia called out as she turned to leave.

"I do!"

Cordelia stopped and turned back to her ex. "'Integral part' of the group? Xander, you're the, the useless part of the group. You're the Zeppo. 'Cool.' Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't."

She turned and walked away with a satisfied smile on her face, as she left a devastated Xander in her wake. "There was no part of that that wasn't fun."

**Library**

Xander entered through the stacks and headed to the front. He stopped as he heard the voices of Buffy, Willow, and Faith.

"So you two coming B, or not?" Faith's voice asked.

Xander peaked around the side of a bookshelf, and spotted the brunette Slayer sitting on the table in her usual leather pants and belly shirt. Buffy and Willow sat in chairs facing the younger Slayer.

"I don't know Faith; we are supposed to be looking up the Sisterhood of Jhe, for tomorrow night." Willow said, her thoughts returning to the night the master opened the hellmouth. "I don't think going to some club called D'oblique counts as research."

"All the more reason to go." Faith said, jumping off the table. "Tomorrow could be our last day on Earth; shouldn't we go out and live a little? Besides, its in LA, will be back with enough time to study up on the hell bitches."

"I guess." Buffy answered a smile on her face as she thought of the research free night ahead of her. "It's not like Giles or Xander have to know."

Faith looked confused. "Why not X? Thought he was part of the group and all?"

"We're trying to keep him out of danger," Willow said, already liking the idea of hanging out with the two Slayers. "That means pushing him out of all group activities, even those not Slayer related."

"That sounds kinda harsh, Red." Faith replied, a small part of her thinking of the male Scooby. "He may not be much of a fighter, but at least he tries."

"Doesn't matter." Buffy said with an air of finality in her voice. "We keep Xander at arm's length, and out of all slaying matters."

Xander turned so his back was to the bookshelf, Cordelia's words running through his head along with those of Buffy and Willow. Finally he headed back the way he had come, ditching the rest of school.

**Mayor's Office**

Mayor Wilkins III was looking over the medical reports the hospital had on Snyder. He looked up at the deputy mayor, Alan Finch. "A wrench locked on to his groin. Well that's a little peculiar."

"Y-yes it is s-sir." Finch stuttered, knowing full well what the man before him could do to him without losing a link of sleep.

"Ah well, what's done is done." Wilkins' said, tossing the report on his desk. "So how goes the "proclaiming" of the funds for my graduation surprise?"

"Uh, y-yes, the uh, p-proclaimers are ready for tonight." Finch said, thinking of the group of heavily armed demonic bank thieves that were at this moment preparing to rob the First National Bank of Sunnydale.


End file.
